out of the ordinary

yeah, this is strange.

...y'know, sometimes I scare myself. it's as if i'm not really in control of what i do and feel and someone/thing else with a twisted sense of humour is behind every thought or action. it's as if i'm not participating but watching as things unfold in front of me...

... i get so tired sometimes. it feels like i'm on this road that winds around and around and ties it self tightly in a knot around my throat. my perception is blurred and foggy and i cant really see where i'm headed...

i dont actually want a lot. i just want everything.

i want to run away. i want to be in a dream. i want the sky to turn red. i want to fly. to nowhere in particular. with an eagle on my wings....

has this happened before? maybe it's deja vu.

only you know.